I'm sure you know what this post is about by the title. By now I would assume most everyone will have heard of the tragedy that occurred in that sleepy, peaceful town. And I'm sure you, like me, are having trouble processing it all.
Hearing about any shooting is always heartbreaking. These type of mass murders, senseless and unprovoked cause a special kind of pang in our hearts. However the addition of children, Christmas and the sheer number of victims just takes this to a whole new level.
Reports are putting the children's ages between five and ten. Five years old. At that age I was afraid of Ursula in the Little Mermaid, and burst into tears if my mother let go of my hand in the supermarket. These are babies, at that age of perfect innocence, when the world is ripe for exploring and beginning to make rational sense. To think of children that age being murdered it unimaginable. Those left behind will never be the same either- how are they supposed to go back to their school and see their old desk or graduate from high school knowing they were 20 people short?
With Christmas around the corner I can't get the image of parents left with piles of toys and gifts, presents that will never be opened. It is said that to loose a child is the most painful thing in the world, but for them to be taken so violently, so senselessly?
Then there are the teachers, who ran towards the sound gunshots. The principal who's first thought was the protection of her students. The teachers who remained calm in complete chaos. I hope that, faced with the deaths of twenty children, the adults who died will be remembered equally.
I'm not going to shout about the shooter. I am of the belief that no sane person could commit such an act. The man was deeply ill. If it comforts you to curse him, by all means do it, because doing something so awful is hard to excuse or rationally consider. The act was, however, irrational and no amount of thought or debate will truly explain it.
I don't know who I'm writing this for. Maybe it's for people who feel like me, horrified and useless. Maybe for those who lost someone. Or maybe just for myself, to try and articulate it all. Regardless of why, if it helped you to see someone share your emotions and confusions then it was worth writing.
And I'm sorry, but now is the time for gun control discussions. There's a reason tragedies like this are much rarer outside the US. People are people and I do not believe Americans are any more violent than Irish, but Americans have guns and we don't. And I don't think it's disrespectful to talk about it, and I hope none involved think it is. If there had been a gas explosion safety regulations and gas maintenance would be the talking point. But it's guns, as personal a subject as religion for many. Unfathomable as it is to me, I realise that this is a part of US culture. But that a mentally ill person can have guns and bullets is incomprehensible. Bear in mind that, until he pulled the trigger, his actions were legal.
This will be in the news cycle for weeks, and will most likely prompt gun control debates for months to come. But the people of Newtown and the families of the victims will carry this with them forever and for that my heart goes out to them.
Until next time,
Jenny
